My answer to Polina's (ID 29622) letter to me.
Polina,
The answer to your question to me is a most definitive NO!
I don't care why your friend's husband hit her. Any man who raises his hand to a woman is the most despicable and lowest form of life on this planet! I will tell you a fact. In my country if a low life and disgusting man, a term he doesn't deserve, ever hits a woman he soon finds out what "poetic justice" is here. I can tell you with all sincerity and truth that vile piece of garbage will soon be meeting her family and her friends somewhere deep in the woods. Believe me he won't be taking a leisurely walk nor is he going to be leaving said woods in the same condition he was when he entered those woods.
It's a simple and honest to goodness reality that no real man would ever lift a hand to a woman for any reason. Sadly in about 99.9% of domestic abuse scenarios the woman erroneously feels she is to blame for the abuse and starts to think, "if I only did this or that he wouldn't be so abusive." This is so far from the truth and this vile piece of trash makes her believe it is all her fault. The most sickening part is this filth lies over and over and swears he is so sorry and it won't happen again. Reality is, he will do it again and again. Once he begins abusing her he will not ever stop.
There is a very sad and very disturbing mindset in abused and battered women that they truly do love the man abusing her. So many women are afraid to see the truth, cannot say anything for a fear of retaliation, and think they have nowhere to go and can't leave.These are all distorted excuses the man makes her believe. There is no loving or living with an abusive man! So many women simply continue to believe that in time things will get better if they simply do as this tyrant tells them to do. A pattern of thinking that all to often results in worse abuse.
Case studies have shown that abusive men are the sweetest and most loving men at the onset of a relationship. Once they have a woman convinced, or worse, has them brainwashed to believe the deception and lies that it's all their fault, it's most often to late. Abusive men use control and deceptiveness to ensure they are the one who dictates what a woman can and cannot do. It is imperative for a woman being abused to get away from that man fast! A woman cannot let her own mind become a deterrent to escaping further abuse at the hands of a man who will not stop.
No woman should ever believe it's going to get better if she becomes compliant to an abusive man!